There is a emotional swing. The time when you feel moody and empty suddenly, unexplainably… thoughts become grey. Maybe pessimistic people drain your energy too much. But if your positivity is strong enough, can your cheerfulness rub on to them?
Scrolling through old photo albums. Listening to the ever-looping playlist. Social media makes one feel meaningless at some point in time.
20 years of life journey isn’t very long, but enough to have some sense in your head. You experience joy and laughter, sorrow and tears. You watch people come and go. There were peaks in life where your ego felt great; but gradually, they felt as light as nothing. Vast and empty. And you remember how you read somewhere that people living in poor villages feel more contented and happier than most living in the vibrant cities.
Then you realise maybe there’s nothing to feel emo about. Embrace the little things in life. The simple times spent with friends and family. Some people say that it’s pointless to post on social media and tell everyone how great that cupcake or coffee was or how much fun you had at a party with a bunch of cool friends; there are days when I agree and days when I don’t. But now I have a stand. I found the answer for myself.
It’s okay to share these pretty things and moments of joy with people. It is fun. The photos can be cute memories. Even if it boosts your esteem to “show off” - go ahead, why not? As long as that makes you happy. But please don’t get so hogged onto the handphone and get over-mindful of the “likes” and “comments”. At the end of the day, the photo-taking is just a meaningless ritual if you don’t live the moment and feel with your heart.
In short, do what makes you happy.
I think writing does clear my thoughts. Now my (unknown source of ) gloominess is half gone! I don’t really like to pen down unhappy notes on blogs, because that might portray a biased negative side of me… But these are some processing thoughts I’d like to mark down at this stage. Frown and smiles, they’re all part of growth.
(Ending off in a positive note habitually)
— Helen Keller
You might give 10 people heartfelt notes/drawings/cards you made from the bottom of your heart; 4 of the people who received them cast them aside, and the other 4 said thanks, felt grateful at that moment but forgot about it after awhile.
But the remaining 2 made it all worthwhile. They appreciated what you made. The cards made an impact in their hearts, which in turn made a milestone in yours:
The milestone that made you believe even stronger that, your goodwill has never been silly after all.